i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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