I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
