he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
