drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
