Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
