Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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