OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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