Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
A+ Viking dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
