Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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