dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
