C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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