he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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