So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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