I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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