I'm going to jail i love you
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
