Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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