I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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