sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
