I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
