Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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