My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
