Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
