"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
