it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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