he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
