I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
