I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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