I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
no you cant smoke seaweed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
