That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
