I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
