i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
