i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
