The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
