Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
