S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
