is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
