Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
