I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
