i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
