okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
