Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
