I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
