dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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