so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
