my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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