I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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