i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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