Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
