It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
