So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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