I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
