so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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